So kid, you aren't a kid anymore.

Guess, whose back, back again! I am finally blogging but in my defense I have been traveling like a mad woman recently & then had to catch up on my regular life! My wonderful father took my sister and I to England and Ireland for a week and a half and I'm pretty sure we were the most OBVIOUS Americans there. Stay tuned for a blog on that, well actually i'm not making promises, i'll probably never get to it.

Before my trip to Europe, I attended the NKOTBSB Concert (New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys). While at the concert the inner, (more) awkward and strange version of myself at 12 years old came out and I have to admit, I did cry when Backstreet Boys sang "Larger than Life." However, the 22-year-old version of myself realized that is NOT okay and not acceptable to be crying over now 40 year olds, wearing tight white jeans and rhinestones. Then this got me to thinking of all the things I did as a kid, that is now just not okay anymore & a blog was born.

1. Riding a Scooter and thinking you look perfectly cool: When I was in maybe the 4th or 5th grade, Razor scooters were all the rage, so naturally being the trendy kid I was, I had one. Mine was orange, and it was the luxury model that had, lights that lit up orange in the back & I even had an orange carrying strap. Now, if you see someone on a scooter (that is over the age of 13?), it's not okay. Think back to those kids riding scooters on campus and all you wanted to do is throw a stick in front of them. Riding a scooter once you pass maybe age 13, you might as well be riding a Segway in the mall. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UX51lmL6sk

2. Make-Up Fashion Statements: Maybe the boys didn't do this, but the girls sure did. I remember for dances in Middle School my friends and I would get cute stickers and put them on the corners of our eyes to go with the theme of the dance. Heart stickers for valentine's day, flower stickers for the spring dance, you get the point. We'd also put the ever so cute bright white eye shadow on our eyes or bright blue and get a roll-on glitter pen & roll that on the top of our eye and out toward our ears. Thanks MOM for letting me rock this look. Usually with a terrible ponytail or how I wore my hair for my 7th grade yearbook photo. I took my wet hair put it in sponge curlers, slept with it and then wore it like that, with butterfly clips holding back pieces of my hair with straight pieces hanging down in the front. THANKS MOM for letting me look like this! I have pictures somewhere, I will for some reason actually upload these sometime.

3. Pee Your Pants: C'mon you can't do this & actually live through it at this age. I remember growing up as a kid, I hated playing hide and seek. Not because I was a terrible hider, or because I always tried to whisper and gave away where I was... but because I would laugh so hard at the fact I was hiding on the shelf of a closet or in the dryer (whoops) that I would pee my pants! Cute as a 5-year-old, not cute now.

4. Break-Ups: I feel like once you reach age.... 18? Break-ups should be handled like an adult.. this means NO MORE breaking up with people on AIM instant messenger, sending a friend to do the deed for you (lame), text messages, voicemails or phone calls! Unless you have a long distance relationships where it would require you hopping on a camel and floating across the pacific ocean, break up should be done in person! We're grown ups! However, I am guilty.... in high school I did break up with a boyfriend via voicemail... I called him and told him that It wasn't going to work out & to call me if he had any questions... he never called, but he did later let me know in person.. how awful that was. I learned my lesson, I promise!

5. Scream Mom at the Supermarket: We have all been guilty of this and at the age where we aren't supposed to be grocery shopping with mom and dad we probably shouldn't be screaming "MOMMMMMMMMM" at the top of our lungs in the grocery. However, have you ever played the mom game in the grocery store aisle? You haven't, Have you? Well why haven't you? Well that's because I MADE IT UP! The mom game, how it works... Run down each grocery store aisle and scream "MOM" duck and count the amount of heads you get to turn to look at you, double points if they reply with "WHAT" back. Play with friends and see who gets the most points, it's pretty fun.. However, you might want to reconsider this if you have any intentions of picking up someone at the grocery store, because you're just going to look like a plain old freak.

6. Run Away from Home: You can't run away from home anymore, largely because if you are like me, you live with a roommate so then if you run away you are kinda dipping out on your share of the rent and that's just a jerk move. Or maybe you live alone, well then you're getting evicted, kid. Live with mom & dad after graduating college? You run away, they aren't letting you back inside... Running away was cute when you were a kid (well to an extent) my dad still has letters that I would write to him whenever he made me mad. Dear Dad, thanks a lot for taking away my yo-yo because I hit my sister in the head with it, but she told me that Justin Timberlake was ugly! I am running away & never coming back, don't even try looking for me! He has saved many of these letters out and likes to pull them out and remind of how awkward of a child I was and how poor my spelling was.

7. Dance in public naked: You can't do this anymore. You will get arrested for public indecency. Let's face it when you are a baby it's cute, oh you pulled your diaper off and ran around the neighborhood. There's little bobby without his diaper again, but when little bobby turns into 28-year-old naked bobby, nothing about that is decent!

8. Throw a temper tantrum in public: You just can't do that any more, but gosh don't sometimes you wish you could? I remember in college every single time I went to the walmart in Statesboro, Georgia I just wanted to throw all my groceries on the floor and scream and cry at the top of my lungs. The lines were long, it smelled bad and it was hot, I was also just sick of being there! However, I contained myself and usually screamed really loud in my car once I got inside and the coast was clear.

9. Call a boy you like and hang up: Remember how much fun that was? I was soo guilty of this, I remember in the 4th grade, there was this one boy, let's call him Lance for the sake of this story, my friend Jenni and I had the biggest crush on Lance, so we decided to use my parent's house phone and call Lance, 12 times and hang up without saying anything. Well Lance's parents didn't like that & Lance's dad saw that a "Kevin Stratton" kept calling his the house & assumed my dad was having an affair with his wife, it was pretty freaking embarrassing having to admit that I was the one calling for Lance & then Lance found out I had a crush on him. Lance never asked me out, i'm still heart broken.

10. La, La, La I can't hear you: You just can't do that anymore, but don't you wish you could? I also wish using "talk to the hand because the face don't wanna hear it" was still appropriate when you were sick of hearing someone talk.
 
While there are things you can't do anymore as a kid, and to be quite honest, I can't really put together too hefty of a list because.. I personally am guilty of doing way too many things that most grown up women shouldn't do.. there is a list of everything that is totally still okay to do:

Dance in public, play sweet or sour with cars behind you, do the "honk your horn" motion to truck drivers as you pass, sled, listen to boy bands, bring your glove to a baseball game, sing in the car with all the windows down, create dance moves to the literal meanings of words in songs, write future mrs. justin timberlake on your notepads at work, wear overalls, sing with a hair brush in the mirror, fake sick, slumber parties, girl talk.. 

But for real...you really are allowed to still be a kid, I double dog dare you.

Ways to bring all the boys to your yard..

While driving in my car today, I was rocking out to the oldies (don't judge) and "It's not unusual" came on the radio and I was quickly reminded of the infamous dance by Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Naturally, I began a solo dance party in my car, this occurs often because if my previous blogs haven't informed you or you decided not to read those (shame on you) I am a fairly shameless individual and I find a car dance party always necessary. The car next to me started laughing and dancing too-- my windows and sunroof were open (with the air conditioning on-- I believe in wasting as much money as possible) and there was a quick stop light dance party with the man next to me.


This spur-of-the-moment dance party gave me inspiration to formulate a list on how you too can pick up hot babes without even trying. Below you will find a list on some sweet ways, I am not numbering this list because I have no idea how many ideas i'll punch out & I'm not guaranteeing, SQUAT!

1. Dance, Dance, Dance! When you're in 'da club the best way to get a hottie with a body to approach you is simply to whip out some sweet moves. They'll totally approach you because they will want to know how and where you learn those killer dance steps. Below are some of my favs:

As I mentioned before this is a CLASSIC and any boy would be delighted to see you mastered this 90's fave. 

  Would you judge me if I told you I actually did at some point (and hopefully still do) know every single move in this dance? What is hotter than a choreographed routine by your Liger Loving Stud? You don't know it? .... Idiot. 

Lastly, the running man. Because, why wouldn't you?

2. After you have laid all your game out on the table, by showing off your dance moves, he'll be sure to be on you like white on rice. The next thing you should do is this: talk about your future together. Guys love the idea of commitment and won't even consider anything at the next level with you until they can picture themselves marrying you. So you should probably tell them how excited you are for your future and how great your kids will be. Don't say I didn't warn you when he doesn't ask you out because you forgot this important step in the process. 

3. When he takes you out on a date to a nice restaurant next be sure to ask him why he didn't text you back when you texted him and ask him what he is doing not this monday, not the next monday, not the monday after that one, or the monday after that one, or the monday after that one, or the monday after that one, but that next monday. Guys love planning things out way in advanced especially with someone they just met and already know has a great image of their future together.

4. Insult his friends. We've all heard the phrase.. Bros before Hoes? It's a bunch of bologna. Guys will always pick their girl over his friends, especially when you insult them and put them down constantly, especially when they are perfectly nice to you. Don't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say, not true.. if you've got things to say about his best friend since 5th grade that he likes to play golf with after a week of work, but you wanted him to come with you to shop for a new bedside table lamp, it's totally appropriate to insult his friends and beg him to come with you until he gives in. 

5. Measure him up to all your friend's boyfriends. Make sure you tell him how Lilly's boyfriend, Mark got her a David Yurman Bracelet for their 3 week and 2 day anniversary and you feel like that is an appropriate and/or mandatory present for your 3 hour anniversary. Guys love being compared to your friend's boyfriends and it doesn't bother them at all, in fact it inspires them to work hard to come up with creative new ways to impress you.

And that's all I've got for you.... So now you are sitting hear stumped saying, Oh Mackenzie, I've tried these all and none of them worked. Well this is a fool proof system and if it didn't work for you, you obviously just are a lost cause and should give up dating all together.

Good Luck.

Atlanta Dermatology and Laser Surgery: Mackenzie's "Cool" Experience in Atlanta

Atlanta Dermatology and Laser Surgery: Mackenzie's "Cool" Experience in Atlanta Check out a blog post by me on me on my office's blog!

Diary of a bad wardrobe

Ladies & Gentlemen,

I am writing you this letter to apologize for my lack of bloggage. Life has been crazy in the A and I have been attempting to keep up. I feel a lot of pressure to make this blog entry of interest as I know all of you have been eagerly awaiting my postings-- sitting, starring at the computer, screaming "WHEN MACKENZIE, WHEN?" With that being said.... here is your post. Laugh even when it's not funny, thanks.

But really, What has been going on with me....? Hmmm..Well Tuesday night I attended the Katy Perry concert. Probably one of the greatest concerts I have EVER been to.. and let me tell you I have been to the cream of the crop. For example: I have been to Nsync (x2), Backstreet Boys (x2) and ......... The TRL Tour featuring: Destiny's Child, O-Town, Nsync, etc (I lost my throat for 3 weeks after this concert, due purely to screaming..."MARRY ME JUSTIN!!!!!").

Anyway, so Katy Perry concert... the outfits people wore were INSANE! I thought I'd be Katy Perryesque so I wore my brand new Steven Madden Glitter Pumps and bright red lip stick.. which I thought was wild. However, once I arrived at Gwinnett Arena and was surronded by K.P. Fans, I looked like I came straight out of a L.L. Bean catalog. There was fishnets, short shorts (on men), wigs of all color, sequins bras, bra-less people and more.. In a situation like that it is easy to go straight from just accepting what they are wearing to judgement and say "Like OH EMM GEE, What the eff.. is she wearing??" But after my initial judgement surpassed I began thinking about it all and realized how I truly envied their confidence to wear things that they loved and didn't care what some preppy blonde chick in sparkly shoes was thinking of her.

Yellow Hat Meets the World

So I started thinking back on my own life and started thinking about clothes I LOVED and if I had the confidence enough to wear them what I would still be wearing. I'd be pretty unfortunately dressed-- but I'd secretly love everything I was wearing. Ready for the embarrassing list? I am going to begin with my favorite bright yellow polartec hat. LOVED this hat-- I wore it on almost every single vacation and it makes it's appearance all throughout the awkward stages in my life. However, awkward for me was about 3rd - 10th grade, but many would still argue even today. However, this hat surfaced my wardrobe circa 1996/1997 or so. I ended up getting made fun of by my friend, name has been removed for safety reasons and so I told my mom I'd never wear it again. Every time my friends see the picture of me in this hat on my photo board in my apartment, I pull the quick "Oh gosh that hat is horrible, why would my mom do that to me?" but really all I'm thinking about is A. Where I can find another one and B. When that thing was thrown away.


My second favey? These hit the black top of Westbriar Elementary in the peak of my awkwardness in 4th grade. My high heeled black and white sketcher tennis shoe heels. Can I tell you the fit I threw for my mom to buy these for me? I LOVED THEM! I wore them with everything.. my overall jean shorts, white shorts with high white socks and the sketcher heel/tennis shoes, my winnie the pooh jean jumper.. I think I was quite the fashionista. However, my friends made fun of them and said they were weird, and slowly I started to question my sneaks and was in about as large of a dilemma a 4th grade girl could be in! Anyway these shoes had to be retired when I tripped down the stairs during a fire drill and caused a traffic jam/ 3 person pile up and they were classified as a fire hazard.

Then I began thinking back to my friends from school and thinking about the stuff that they wore that I made fun of and I decided to contribute my blog to apologize: Brittany, I am sorry for making fun of your bangs and jean jumper dress you wore on the first day of 6th grade. Renae, I am sorry I made fun of your Aeropostale t-shirt and hair from 9th grade and that I still have your yearbook picture in my wallet and I routinely send you pictures of it laughing.. (i love you). Laura, I am sorry I threw away clothes in your closet all through college and made fun of your sweater vest and star wars t-shirt collection (even though, i'm really not sorry I threw away the stuff I threw out.. you totally appreciate it too).

Basically the point of all this is just wear whatever you freaking feel like. Wear your jean overalls, fishnet tights, floppy hats with sunglasses (my parents hated me) or your sketcher high heels. You only live once and wouldn't you rather be known as that person that wore what they wanted than what every one else wanted them to wear? Also, if anyone sees a polartech yellow baseball cap in the store, please.. CALL ME!

YOUR TURN: I turn the blog to you, what clothing do you wish you could secretly wear but are shunned due to fears of ridicule? This is a judgement free blog post-- so post away


Inspiration for this blog post came from my friend Meghan's post after we encountered some interesting people together at the Miranda Lambert concert. Check out Meghan's Blog

There's a little awkward in all of us..

As almost every blog post thus far has determined I embrace being awkward and enjoy awkward situations and circumstances. I started thinking to like everyday experiences and how awkward we are. For instances what I like to call the "walking fail." This is the one we are all familiar of, it happens on campus, in the grocery store or in crowded halls in high school. You are walking minding your own business and someone else is walking toward you.. you go left, they go right an "uhhh uhhh sorry" is exchanged and then you right and you go left,  finally if you are lucky enough to get your junk together you escape the trap and breakthrough the 2 person traffic jam.. other times if you are like me you'll most likely get yelled at. Just the other day I was walking in Target and engaged in such a pleasant walking fail with a real Atlanta Gem. This little ray of sunshine was not so great at avoiding the walking fail and instead just decided to plow into me and scream "move shrimp!" I was taller than her.. so i'm still a little hazy on what the context behind that was.

Secondly, humans are also extremely awkward with the wave and smile. This one again is something you can observe multiple times a day. You are walking through campus and some dude waves and smiles at you.. you wave back and then you realize they are totally smiling at the person behind you. Best way to advert this is scream "Hey, (insert friends name)" and then scream "Hey, (friends name again)" and then that person thinks you are just trying to get the attention of this "friend" that you can't seem to get to hear you. I have done this about once a day, I blame it on the fact that I don't wear my glasses unless I'm driving and can't ever see peoples faces and can't tell who they are looking at. It's more likely that I'm just completely clueless.

There's also awkwardness in stuff like our speech: like when the cashier says "Enjoy your lunch!" and you say "You too.." or when someone says "How are you?" and you say "How are you?" in reply.. (it happens a lot listen for it). All I'm saying is maybe we're all not as awkward as Dwight from The Office but to be honest humans are a bunch of awkward freaks, embrace it.. it makes life like 2,000 more times funn-er! 

Awkward Challenge Update: 

• I accidentally fell asleep on a stranger's shoulder at the Airport waiting for my plane. He told me that it was okay and that I could stay sleeping at his shoulder (how bout no, ya freak). 
• I was born.

Bad Parenting

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am of resemblance to the great, Casper the Ghost. I was attempting to glamorize the "pale is in" look, however, thanks to individuals such as Mike "the situation" Sorrentino and Snooki from the Jersey Shore, the rest of America hasn't caught on yet (a girl can dream right?). Anyway, so as the total style guru I am I decided I should follow the trends established by our favorite Guidos and Guidettes and hit the pool, to get my color to at least resemble the skin color of a healthy individual as opposed to the white, pasty, sick person look, I currently rock.

While laying at the pool,  I noticed two kids splashing around in the pool. To be honest, I felt like I was at Sea World at the Shamu exhibit because the kids decided to basically have a cannonball contests right where we were laying out. The kids were practically strangling each other and screaming curse words at each other left and right (p.s. they were 9 & 11 years old). Suddenly, this woman walks up to them while pounding back a beer and starts talking to them and then walks back to her seat to get another cold one.

The kids go back to strangling each other and basically forming a mini child gang in the pool. Suddenly, a guy walks into the pool with a big cooler of beer (I assume) and a hot pink funnel (beer bong, what have you) the 11-year-old hops out and screams BEER BONG! Naturally, hearing an 11-year-old scream that peaks my attention so I sat up and start snapping photos. All of the sudden the kids are in the pool swimming around with a funnel, and start chugging Cokes in the pool. Don't believe me, oh I have proof:

Later after the kids practically got into a gang fight in the pool little child A (i don't know his name) hopped out of the pool and poured a beer into his nanny's funnel and watched her chug a beer. Proof:

I am not sure if these kiddies parents knew about the maturity level of their dear beloved nanny. But I am sure  that is this was me, I would be happy to have my 9 & 11 year old spotting my nanny on a beer chug, just sayin'. Call me old fashion, but when I was 11 years old I was still playing kick ball and got jacked up mountain dew and slurpees from 7-11.

Awkward Update: While shopping in target to kill time to meet up with a friend for dinner, I witnessed a teenaged girl probably 13 walk by so I put my arm up and said "Hey, High-Five", she gave me the elusive "eat,crap and die look" and then said "uhh.. no." DENIED.

Additionally, while driving around Atlanta for work picking up stuff to get ready for a fabulous Bridal Event my office is hosting, I proceeded to begin a one sided staring contest with a trucker next to me. However, the trucker decided he wanted to challenge me back.. and he didn't stop starring either. We just were frozen back at each other (uncomfortable..........) finally I cracked and gave him the ever mature "honk your horn" symbol, looked away and turned bright red. He never honked his horn.

I am not sure if this Awkward challenge is working the way it is supposed to. In all circumstances it is supposed to make the other person feel awkward and uncomfortable, not me. However, in almost all of my situations I have been the one to look like a fool! I may need to re-think my strategies or maybe I am just way to awkward for this (nahhh). Let's just all see where my awkward life takes me next..

Single Self Behavior

So day one of the Awkward Challenge, is basically complete. This is largely because I am home from the office & back from the gym and I do not plan on leaving my apartment for the rest of the night due to pure lameness & exhaustion. However, my poor roommate might have to suffer the consequences of the awkward challenge, stay tuned for that one.

Anyway, I do not have much to report today. However, I did come to the understanding that this Awkward Challenge does not work for men, especially men my age. While I was running on the treadmill this guy entered the gym I let my eyes follow him as he walked to the bathroom, then he walked out, got a sip of water, and walked toward the machines (i'm still staring at this point). He then noticed I was not looking away so he smiled. I didn't smile, I just kept staring, he then waved, laughed and said hello. I became so uncomfortable that I looked away really fast and turned my music up, FAIL.

However, I decided to take a stab at the Awkward Challenge again, my next victim the boy next to me on the treadmill. My television on my machine was not working, so naturally my eyes glanced to the TV of the kid next to me, who was watching friends (it was a fantastic episode by the way). I kept watching and laughing along to the subtitles, he noticed and kept looking over at me... I did not stop laughing or stop watching. Mid-episode he changed the channel, I was very ticked and sighed he turned to me & asked.. "Is this channel okay, or should I put friends back?" I told him, I'd rather watch Friends but if he wanted to watch something else that was okay, he flipped it back, smiled and kept running... another fail (but at least I got to watch Friends).

Earlier in the day while leaving the office and sitting at a red light, I noticed a guy sitting in the car. I decided he'd be the perfect target for me to begin my solo staring contest with. I kept staring, he did not notice me... (by the way this red light is very long..) finally up pops his finger.. and where does it go? Into the nose. Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen Mr. Honda CRV was a nose picker. Naturally, the first thing he does while mid-pick is turn toward my car, he notices that I see him.. pulls his finger out quick & pretends he's scratching. So like any kind American driver, I gave him a thumbs up, laughed and drove off.

Mr. Nose Picker got me thinking about our Single-Self-Behavior. In Sex and the City this is described as what we do when we're alone and definitely not in front of people we are dating. Obviously, Mr. NP forgot that his car was located in a public place and his windows weren't tinted. I started thinking about the stuff I do when I am alone. For example, I like to listen to really embarrassing music in my car, really loud & sing along. Most of the time the music is bad 90's music: Spice Girls, Nsync, LFO, etc. or Musicals (no judgements) oh and then there is Bieber music.. OF COURSE. Do people see me when I do this? I also sometimes stare in the mirror and make weird faces... this is also done on my MacBook photo booth (again cast your judgements aside). Single Self Behavior is most often awkward, embarrassing and perfectly normal. Don't act like you don't have them.. I just had the courage to go public.

Future Awkward Situations: On Thursday, I am going to watch my friend get purchased at a date auction at Jonny's Hideaway (Cougar Heaven). While at Jonny's I plan on featuring myself in several Photo Bombs (jumping into group photos) and standing in the personal space of many people. Let's see how this one goes....

The Awkward Challange

Alright, it's time I embrace the common trend of my life currently: Awkward. I guess it's just the way the stars align and universe works but honestly, the most awkward, uncomfortable and hilarious circumstances always happen to me.

Don't believe me? I'll set up a situation for you. I am 22 years old, almost 23. I work in Marketing where I am required to dress as a professional, daily. While I was at target (during my lunch break), a teenaged boy walks up to me. I figured the kid wanted directions to the video game section or if i knew where the bathroom was, nope. The kid strolls on up to me, flips his hair, like Bieber (hot) and asks me if I'd like to  go to the movies with him. As I searched for words, he proceeded to tell me that his mom could pick us up and drop us off at the theater (at this point i'm still saying uhh..) finally I get the words, "How old do you think I am?" out of my mouth. He then tells me "15, like me.. I get my permit next week" (i'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or flattered). So I just started laughing and told him I was 22 and could drive us to the movie, but I wasn't going to go out with him. Later, I met my dates mom who swore she saw me in the high school (wrong). I was in a very awkward situation.

While, this situation may not go in the record books for the most uncomfortable and/or awkward situation ever, it was still pretty awkward. Well more awkward situations are to come, as I am about to embark on the "Awkward Challenge." What is the Awkward Challenge, you ask? Well it's basically something that I was challenged to do by a friend, where I basically force all and every awkward situation. We figured since I am already an awkward magnet, I should enforce it greater.

Therefore, I will begin facing the opposite way in elevators, choosing the treadmill next to the one & only person in the gym when there are thousands of machines open, staring at people in the car next to me at red lights & not taking my eyes away, talking really loud on my cell phone about uncomfortable topics in public places ex: the marta, the grocery store,the public bathroom, etc. Anyway, so the Awkward Challenge will begin......now! As the challenge goes on, i'll blog my dirty looks, black eyes, and cuss outs.

Please feel free to drop me a few "awkward challenges" as long as they are semi-appropriate.