There's a little awkward in all of us..

As almost every blog post thus far has determined I embrace being awkward and enjoy awkward situations and circumstances. I started thinking to like everyday experiences and how awkward we are. For instances what I like to call the "walking fail." This is the one we are all familiar of, it happens on campus, in the grocery store or in crowded halls in high school. You are walking minding your own business and someone else is walking toward you.. you go left, they go right an "uhhh uhhh sorry" is exchanged and then you right and you go left,  finally if you are lucky enough to get your junk together you escape the trap and breakthrough the 2 person traffic jam.. other times if you are like me you'll most likely get yelled at. Just the other day I was walking in Target and engaged in such a pleasant walking fail with a real Atlanta Gem. This little ray of sunshine was not so great at avoiding the walking fail and instead just decided to plow into me and scream "move shrimp!" I was taller than her.. so i'm still a little hazy on what the context behind that was.

Secondly, humans are also extremely awkward with the wave and smile. This one again is something you can observe multiple times a day. You are walking through campus and some dude waves and smiles at you.. you wave back and then you realize they are totally smiling at the person behind you. Best way to advert this is scream "Hey, (insert friends name)" and then scream "Hey, (friends name again)" and then that person thinks you are just trying to get the attention of this "friend" that you can't seem to get to hear you. I have done this about once a day, I blame it on the fact that I don't wear my glasses unless I'm driving and can't ever see peoples faces and can't tell who they are looking at. It's more likely that I'm just completely clueless.

There's also awkwardness in stuff like our speech: like when the cashier says "Enjoy your lunch!" and you say "You too.." or when someone says "How are you?" and you say "How are you?" in reply.. (it happens a lot listen for it). All I'm saying is maybe we're all not as awkward as Dwight from The Office but to be honest humans are a bunch of awkward freaks, embrace it.. it makes life like 2,000 more times funn-er! 

Awkward Challenge Update: 

• I accidentally fell asleep on a stranger's shoulder at the Airport waiting for my plane. He told me that it was okay and that I could stay sleeping at his shoulder (how bout no, ya freak). 
• I was born.

Bad Parenting

Anyone that knows me, knows that I am of resemblance to the great, Casper the Ghost. I was attempting to glamorize the "pale is in" look, however, thanks to individuals such as Mike "the situation" Sorrentino and Snooki from the Jersey Shore, the rest of America hasn't caught on yet (a girl can dream right?). Anyway, so as the total style guru I am I decided I should follow the trends established by our favorite Guidos and Guidettes and hit the pool, to get my color to at least resemble the skin color of a healthy individual as opposed to the white, pasty, sick person look, I currently rock.

While laying at the pool,  I noticed two kids splashing around in the pool. To be honest, I felt like I was at Sea World at the Shamu exhibit because the kids decided to basically have a cannonball contests right where we were laying out. The kids were practically strangling each other and screaming curse words at each other left and right (p.s. they were 9 & 11 years old). Suddenly, this woman walks up to them while pounding back a beer and starts talking to them and then walks back to her seat to get another cold one.

The kids go back to strangling each other and basically forming a mini child gang in the pool. Suddenly, a guy walks into the pool with a big cooler of beer (I assume) and a hot pink funnel (beer bong, what have you) the 11-year-old hops out and screams BEER BONG! Naturally, hearing an 11-year-old scream that peaks my attention so I sat up and start snapping photos. All of the sudden the kids are in the pool swimming around with a funnel, and start chugging Cokes in the pool. Don't believe me, oh I have proof:

Later after the kids practically got into a gang fight in the pool little child A (i don't know his name) hopped out of the pool and poured a beer into his nanny's funnel and watched her chug a beer. Proof:

I am not sure if these kiddies parents knew about the maturity level of their dear beloved nanny. But I am sure  that is this was me, I would be happy to have my 9 & 11 year old spotting my nanny on a beer chug, just sayin'. Call me old fashion, but when I was 11 years old I was still playing kick ball and got jacked up mountain dew and slurpees from 7-11.

Awkward Update: While shopping in target to kill time to meet up with a friend for dinner, I witnessed a teenaged girl probably 13 walk by so I put my arm up and said "Hey, High-Five", she gave me the elusive "eat,crap and die look" and then said "uhh.. no." DENIED.

Additionally, while driving around Atlanta for work picking up stuff to get ready for a fabulous Bridal Event my office is hosting, I proceeded to begin a one sided staring contest with a trucker next to me. However, the trucker decided he wanted to challenge me back.. and he didn't stop starring either. We just were frozen back at each other (uncomfortable..........) finally I cracked and gave him the ever mature "honk your horn" symbol, looked away and turned bright red. He never honked his horn.

I am not sure if this Awkward challenge is working the way it is supposed to. In all circumstances it is supposed to make the other person feel awkward and uncomfortable, not me. However, in almost all of my situations I have been the one to look like a fool! I may need to re-think my strategies or maybe I am just way to awkward for this (nahhh). Let's just all see where my awkward life takes me next..

Single Self Behavior

So day one of the Awkward Challenge, is basically complete. This is largely because I am home from the office & back from the gym and I do not plan on leaving my apartment for the rest of the night due to pure lameness & exhaustion. However, my poor roommate might have to suffer the consequences of the awkward challenge, stay tuned for that one.

Anyway, I do not have much to report today. However, I did come to the understanding that this Awkward Challenge does not work for men, especially men my age. While I was running on the treadmill this guy entered the gym I let my eyes follow him as he walked to the bathroom, then he walked out, got a sip of water, and walked toward the machines (i'm still staring at this point). He then noticed I was not looking away so he smiled. I didn't smile, I just kept staring, he then waved, laughed and said hello. I became so uncomfortable that I looked away really fast and turned my music up, FAIL.

However, I decided to take a stab at the Awkward Challenge again, my next victim the boy next to me on the treadmill. My television on my machine was not working, so naturally my eyes glanced to the TV of the kid next to me, who was watching friends (it was a fantastic episode by the way). I kept watching and laughing along to the subtitles, he noticed and kept looking over at me... I did not stop laughing or stop watching. Mid-episode he changed the channel, I was very ticked and sighed he turned to me & asked.. "Is this channel okay, or should I put friends back?" I told him, I'd rather watch Friends but if he wanted to watch something else that was okay, he flipped it back, smiled and kept running... another fail (but at least I got to watch Friends).

Earlier in the day while leaving the office and sitting at a red light, I noticed a guy sitting in the car. I decided he'd be the perfect target for me to begin my solo staring contest with. I kept staring, he did not notice me... (by the way this red light is very long..) finally up pops his finger.. and where does it go? Into the nose. Yes, Ladies & Gentlemen Mr. Honda CRV was a nose picker. Naturally, the first thing he does while mid-pick is turn toward my car, he notices that I see him.. pulls his finger out quick & pretends he's scratching. So like any kind American driver, I gave him a thumbs up, laughed and drove off.

Mr. Nose Picker got me thinking about our Single-Self-Behavior. In Sex and the City this is described as what we do when we're alone and definitely not in front of people we are dating. Obviously, Mr. NP forgot that his car was located in a public place and his windows weren't tinted. I started thinking about the stuff I do when I am alone. For example, I like to listen to really embarrassing music in my car, really loud & sing along. Most of the time the music is bad 90's music: Spice Girls, Nsync, LFO, etc. or Musicals (no judgements) oh and then there is Bieber music.. OF COURSE. Do people see me when I do this? I also sometimes stare in the mirror and make weird faces... this is also done on my MacBook photo booth (again cast your judgements aside). Single Self Behavior is most often awkward, embarrassing and perfectly normal. Don't act like you don't have them.. I just had the courage to go public.

Future Awkward Situations: On Thursday, I am going to watch my friend get purchased at a date auction at Jonny's Hideaway (Cougar Heaven). While at Jonny's I plan on featuring myself in several Photo Bombs (jumping into group photos) and standing in the personal space of many people. Let's see how this one goes....

The Awkward Challange

Alright, it's time I embrace the common trend of my life currently: Awkward. I guess it's just the way the stars align and universe works but honestly, the most awkward, uncomfortable and hilarious circumstances always happen to me.

Don't believe me? I'll set up a situation for you. I am 22 years old, almost 23. I work in Marketing where I am required to dress as a professional, daily. While I was at target (during my lunch break), a teenaged boy walks up to me. I figured the kid wanted directions to the video game section or if i knew where the bathroom was, nope. The kid strolls on up to me, flips his hair, like Bieber (hot) and asks me if I'd like to  go to the movies with him. As I searched for words, he proceeded to tell me that his mom could pick us up and drop us off at the theater (at this point i'm still saying uhh..) finally I get the words, "How old do you think I am?" out of my mouth. He then tells me "15, like me.. I get my permit next week" (i'm not sure if I should be embarrassed or flattered). So I just started laughing and told him I was 22 and could drive us to the movie, but I wasn't going to go out with him. Later, I met my dates mom who swore she saw me in the high school (wrong). I was in a very awkward situation.

While, this situation may not go in the record books for the most uncomfortable and/or awkward situation ever, it was still pretty awkward. Well more awkward situations are to come, as I am about to embark on the "Awkward Challenge." What is the Awkward Challenge, you ask? Well it's basically something that I was challenged to do by a friend, where I basically force all and every awkward situation. We figured since I am already an awkward magnet, I should enforce it greater.

Therefore, I will begin facing the opposite way in elevators, choosing the treadmill next to the one & only person in the gym when there are thousands of machines open, staring at people in the car next to me at red lights & not taking my eyes away, talking really loud on my cell phone about uncomfortable topics in public places ex: the marta, the grocery store,the public bathroom, etc. Anyway, so the Awkward Challenge will begin......now! As the challenge goes on, i'll blog my dirty looks, black eyes, and cuss outs.

Please feel free to drop me a few "awkward challenges" as long as they are semi-appropriate.