Before my trip to Europe, I attended the NKOTBSB Concert (New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys). While at the concert the inner, (more) awkward and strange version of myself at 12 years old came out and I have to admit, I did cry when Backstreet Boys sang "Larger than Life." However, the 22-year-old version of myself realized that is NOT okay and not acceptable to be crying over now 40 year olds, wearing tight white jeans and rhinestones. Then this got me to thinking of all the things I did as a kid, that is now just not okay anymore & a blog was born.
1. Riding a Scooter and thinking you look perfectly cool: When I was in maybe the 4th or 5th grade, Razor scooters were all the rage, so naturally being the trendy kid I was, I had one. Mine was orange, and it was the luxury model that had, lights that lit up orange in the back & I even had an orange carrying strap. Now, if you see someone on a scooter (that is over the age of 13?), it's not okay. Think back to those kids riding scooters on campus and all you wanted to do is throw a stick in front of them. Riding a scooter once you pass maybe age 13, you might as well be riding a Segway in the mall. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UX51lmL6sk
2. Make-Up Fashion Statements: Maybe the boys didn't do this, but the girls sure did. I remember for dances in Middle School my friends and I would get cute stickers and put them on the corners of our eyes to go with the theme of the dance. Heart stickers for valentine's day, flower stickers for the spring dance, you get the point. We'd also put the ever so cute bright white eye shadow on our eyes or bright blue and get a roll-on glitter pen & roll that on the top of our eye and out toward our ears. Thanks MOM for letting me rock this look. Usually with a terrible ponytail or how I wore my hair for my 7th grade yearbook photo. I took my wet hair put it in sponge curlers, slept with it and then wore it like that, with butterfly clips holding back pieces of my hair with straight pieces hanging down in the front. THANKS MOM for letting me look like this! I have pictures somewhere, I will for some reason actually upload these sometime.
3. Pee Your Pants: C'mon you can't do this & actually live through it at this age. I remember growing up as a kid, I hated playing hide and seek. Not because I was a terrible hider, or because I always tried to whisper and gave away where I was... but because I would laugh so hard at the fact I was hiding on the shelf of a closet or in the dryer (whoops) that I would pee my pants! Cute as a 5-year-old, not cute now.
4. Break-Ups: I feel like once you reach age.... 18? Break-ups should be handled like an adult.. this means NO MORE breaking up with people on AIM instant messenger, sending a friend to do the deed for you (lame), text messages, voicemails or phone calls! Unless you have a long distance relationships where it would require you hopping on a camel and floating across the pacific ocean, break up should be done in person! We're grown ups! However, I am guilty.... in high school I did break up with a boyfriend via voicemail... I called him and told him that It wasn't going to work out & to call me if he had any questions... he never called, but he did later let me know in person.. how awful that was. I learned my lesson, I promise!
5. Scream Mom at the Supermarket: We have all been guilty of this and at the age where we aren't supposed to be grocery shopping with mom and dad we probably shouldn't be screaming "MOMMMMMMMMM" at the top of our lungs in the grocery. However, have you ever played the mom game in the grocery store aisle? You haven't, Have you? Well why haven't you? Well that's because I MADE IT UP! The mom game, how it works... Run down each grocery store aisle and scream "MOM" duck and count the amount of heads you get to turn to look at you, double points if they reply with "WHAT" back. Play with friends and see who gets the most points, it's pretty fun.. However, you might want to reconsider this if you have any intentions of picking up someone at the grocery store, because you're just going to look like a plain old freak.
6. Run Away from Home: You can't run away from home anymore, largely because if you are like me, you live with a roommate so then if you run away you are kinda dipping out on your share of the rent and that's just a jerk move. Or maybe you live alone, well then you're getting evicted, kid. Live with mom & dad after graduating college? You run away, they aren't letting you back inside... Running away was cute when you were a kid (well to an extent) my dad still has letters that I would write to him whenever he made me mad. Dear Dad, thanks a lot for taking away my yo-yo because I hit my sister in the head with it, but she told me that Justin Timberlake was ugly! I am running away & never coming back, don't even try looking for me! He has saved many of these letters out and likes to pull them out and remind of how awkward of a child I was and how poor my spelling was.
7. Dance in public naked: You can't do this anymore. You will get arrested for public indecency. Let's face it when you are a baby it's cute, oh you pulled your diaper off and ran around the neighborhood. There's little bobby without his diaper again, but when little bobby turns into 28-year-old naked bobby, nothing about that is decent!
8. Throw a temper tantrum in public: You just can't do that any more, but gosh don't sometimes you wish you could? I remember in college every single time I went to the walmart in Statesboro, Georgia I just wanted to throw all my groceries on the floor and scream and cry at the top of my lungs. The lines were long, it smelled bad and it was hot, I was also just sick of being there! However, I contained myself and usually screamed really loud in my car once I got inside and the coast was clear.
9. Call a boy you like and hang up: Remember how much fun that was? I was soo guilty of this, I remember in the 4th grade, there was this one boy, let's call him Lance for the sake of this story, my friend Jenni and I had the biggest crush on Lance, so we decided to use my parent's house phone and call Lance, 12 times and hang up without saying anything. Well Lance's parents didn't like that & Lance's dad saw that a "Kevin Stratton" kept calling his the house & assumed my dad was having an affair with his wife, it was pretty freaking embarrassing having to admit that I was the one calling for Lance & then Lance found out I had a crush on him. Lance never asked me out, i'm still heart broken.
10. La, La, La I can't hear you: You just can't do that anymore, but don't you wish you could? I also wish using "talk to the hand because the face don't wanna hear it" was still appropriate when you were sick of hearing someone talk.
While there are things you can't do anymore as a kid, and to be quite honest, I can't really put together too hefty of a list because.. I personally am guilty of doing way too many things that most grown up women shouldn't do.. there is a list of everything that is totally still okay to do:
Dance in public, play sweet or sour with cars behind you, do the "honk your horn" motion to truck drivers as you pass, sled, listen to boy bands, bring your glove to a baseball game, sing in the car with all the windows down, create dance moves to the literal meanings of words in songs, write future mrs. justin timberlake on your notepads at work, wear overalls, sing with a hair brush in the mirror, fake sick, slumber parties, girl talk..
But for real...you really are allowed to still be a kid, I double dog dare you.
