Ways to bring all the boys to your yard..

While driving in my car today, I was rocking out to the oldies (don't judge) and "It's not unusual" came on the radio and I was quickly reminded of the infamous dance by Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Naturally, I began a solo dance party in my car, this occurs often because if my previous blogs haven't informed you or you decided not to read those (shame on you) I am a fairly shameless individual and I find a car dance party always necessary. The car next to me started laughing and dancing too-- my windows and sunroof were open (with the air conditioning on-- I believe in wasting as much money as possible) and there was a quick stop light dance party with the man next to me.


This spur-of-the-moment dance party gave me inspiration to formulate a list on how you too can pick up hot babes without even trying. Below you will find a list on some sweet ways, I am not numbering this list because I have no idea how many ideas i'll punch out & I'm not guaranteeing, SQUAT!

1. Dance, Dance, Dance! When you're in 'da club the best way to get a hottie with a body to approach you is simply to whip out some sweet moves. They'll totally approach you because they will want to know how and where you learn those killer dance steps. Below are some of my favs:

As I mentioned before this is a CLASSIC and any boy would be delighted to see you mastered this 90's fave. 

  Would you judge me if I told you I actually did at some point (and hopefully still do) know every single move in this dance? What is hotter than a choreographed routine by your Liger Loving Stud? You don't know it? .... Idiot. 

Lastly, the running man. Because, why wouldn't you?

2. After you have laid all your game out on the table, by showing off your dance moves, he'll be sure to be on you like white on rice. The next thing you should do is this: talk about your future together. Guys love the idea of commitment and won't even consider anything at the next level with you until they can picture themselves marrying you. So you should probably tell them how excited you are for your future and how great your kids will be. Don't say I didn't warn you when he doesn't ask you out because you forgot this important step in the process. 

3. When he takes you out on a date to a nice restaurant next be sure to ask him why he didn't text you back when you texted him and ask him what he is doing not this monday, not the next monday, not the monday after that one, or the monday after that one, or the monday after that one, or the monday after that one, but that next monday. Guys love planning things out way in advanced especially with someone they just met and already know has a great image of their future together.

4. Insult his friends. We've all heard the phrase.. Bros before Hoes? It's a bunch of bologna. Guys will always pick their girl over his friends, especially when you insult them and put them down constantly, especially when they are perfectly nice to you. Don't say anything if you don't have anything nice to say, not true.. if you've got things to say about his best friend since 5th grade that he likes to play golf with after a week of work, but you wanted him to come with you to shop for a new bedside table lamp, it's totally appropriate to insult his friends and beg him to come with you until he gives in. 

5. Measure him up to all your friend's boyfriends. Make sure you tell him how Lilly's boyfriend, Mark got her a David Yurman Bracelet for their 3 week and 2 day anniversary and you feel like that is an appropriate and/or mandatory present for your 3 hour anniversary. Guys love being compared to your friend's boyfriends and it doesn't bother them at all, in fact it inspires them to work hard to come up with creative new ways to impress you.

And that's all I've got for you.... So now you are sitting hear stumped saying, Oh Mackenzie, I've tried these all and none of them worked. Well this is a fool proof system and if it didn't work for you, you obviously just are a lost cause and should give up dating all together.

Good Luck.